Rebelle = Love In Action

Follow @rebelle on

Day 0, and the First 3 Days

As remembered, from the 4th day…

Day 0: Not Again. My partner, my love, returned from Uruguay a mess. Again. He loves it there, he feels so good in the small town environment. In nature.

But man is he sick. Just like last time.

He texted me while he was there, something like “Why does the energy always feel so heavy here, like I’m doing something terrible, when I’m trying my best to do right, and spread love?

He’s there to gather our belongings. And pay bills. Two weeks ago, he went to close up our café. One of the worst life experiences we’ve survived together - a story that I sense will unfold here as the healing continues.

All that matters to me, is that he gets better. Flu AGAIN, for about the 7th time in one winter, just doesn’t make sense. Not for someone who eats maracuya as a snack, amaranth oatmeal for breakfast and never once misses a morning yoga routine.

And my little girl. She doesn’t look right. Cytokines, a word I started associating with her under-eye circles. She had this look when we were in Uruguay, especially at her worst. Too many bananas, and bronchitis. But her spirits are high, she has no cough. Just grabbier and needier than usual.

Day 1: Holy. Shit. He’s so sick, I decided to look up allergies. A good friend, a vegan mama, told us it was the sycamore trees. Is that what’s wreaking havoc on his system? He’s had allergies most of his life, but since we met they’ve been really mild every early spring. He barely even took a Claritin the past few years.

I decide that sycamore, while certainly possible, hardly sounds like the lump of devastation that is currently laid out on the futon, unable to move. I look up mold again, because that’s the only other allergy I’m aware of.

The first 30 minutes, I’m reading page after page of how it’s really harmless. How to clean it up with vinegar.

And then… a different hit. The word “biotoxin” catches my attention. Not usually one for conspiracy theories, but this page looks legit. Could this be real?!

It takes me about 3 minutes to realize that his symptoms align perfectly with the description on this site. The entire path of it. How he’s gotten progressively worse, with each exposure to the moldy apartment we lived in for 4 months.

He insists it’s the flu. I tell him, maybe… but we should know in another day or so because if it’s flu, one of us is guaranteed to get it.

Day 2: Feeling Better! My love is feeling better this morning, and I am relieved. Taking care of 3 kids on your own is pretty much impossible, for someone like me. We decide to walk to Belgrano with the babies, and buy some basic Chinese groceries so we can start cooking more at home. Soy sauce, tofu, hot chili oil… just the essentials. And pick up a fresh juice on the way back.

We make it there, and totally crash on the way back. Should have taken a cab.

Day 3: Bed and TV. Totally useless day. He overdid it. Kids watch tv. Netflix, to be more specific. All food is take out!