Rebelle = Love In Action

Follow @rebelle on

Day 4 and 5

Day 4: Glory of Certainty. I’m sure now that it’s mold.

Knee deep into the study, I spend hours reading all the websites. Toxic black mold. It was all over our bedroom walls. There was a constant puddle of water under our fridge. The bathroom had a leak that was finally repaired the week we left.

So much moisture, that our kids made a game of drawing with Papa on the sliding glass doors every morning. Condensation art. I thought it was delightful, and we even took videos of the family fun!

Oh how different things look, in the rear view mirror…

But we feel pretty good. We take a bus to a huge park with a killer playground, and the kids have a fantastic time.

We come home, I take a long nap, and wake up to a home-cooked dinner and we all watch the first half of Lord of the Rings.

I fail the VCS vision test. My love, he passes it. Easily. Does that mean I’m just as toxified, and just not showing it?

Day 5: Ughh… Reality. I wake up, feeling terrible. Too much sleep? The late-night dinner?

My morning symptoms: -feeling puffy in the face -tightened jaw, hard to unclench -breathing is shallow -lymph nodes are sore -awareness is floaty and scattered -woozy balance -eyes are gluey

I suspect: -the pillows, since I slept on the other side of the bed as usual -the wheat-based noodles I ate -the just-unpacked belongings and clothing are carrying spores -it’s part of the detoxing process?

I smell an unusual, unpleasant scent that might be the mold, what they talk about online. Wet sock smell.

All I want is to go sit in the sunshine. I can’t think, I can’t plan, I can’t do. Only go, and exist in the sun.

Reality is setting in. We’re in this for the long haul. A complete transformation in how we live. Not just him, but all of us.

How far are we willing to go, to heal?

How much life change can a family of 5 undergo in a year? What more will life ask of us now?